I have always being a skeptic even when I was into religion. I had a turbulent upbringing and my idea about life is that of doubt and suspicion. I never trust anything. When you grow up in rural African, it is almost impossible not to believe in voodoo. Even obtaining a PhD in science related discipline may not help you erase this skewed belief from your brain.
I was in Senior Secondary School 2 at that time. I knew much about the impotence and uselessness of voodoo, I never believed it for a second. Afterall I went through some tutelage in herbal concoction and voodoo in the hands of my maternal grandfather. I knew vodoo was nothing but charade and twist of reality.
The common discussion among we the senior boys then usually centered on girls and voodoo. If it not about how to toast that beautiful classmate of yours, it was about how to use voodoo to pass exams. Such is the life in rural Africa! But I was different. I was only interested in the girls’ talk and not the voodoo aspect.
My friends and some family members nicknamed me “Mr science” because I would always find a logical explanation to whatever point they could raise. But a time came that my friends teamed up to “‘prove” to me that voodoo was real. So they called me to advertise a man that was unbeatable in voodoo in our village at that time. They challenged me to go for any voodoo of my choice. We arranged to visit the old man. There were varieties of voodoo at his disposal. There was a charm for fighting( Aluwo in Yoruba language), I didn’t need that because I hate fighting. There was Memory booster charm(ogun isoye). I didn’t need that idea. I was leading the class in every subject. Then there was “touch and follow” (amudo) charm. That was it! That was my choice.
There had been this beautiful girl that I was eyeing but my taciturnity and shyness wouldn’t allow me talked to her. So my friends decided I use her for the guinea-pig to prove the potency of the “touch and follow” charm. We went to the voodoo man. After the usual show off and self-praised he handed me the ring which he instructed that I should LovePeddler on my middle finger and touch the woman of my choice. He boasted that anyone I touched, must follow me instantly. We went home. We waited for the right time to see the girl, for we dare not go into their compound. Her father was fire!
The right opportunity came calling when my friend pointed to Bose(I changed her name) coming from the stream with bucket of water on her head. Quickly we rearranged, strategised and manoeuvred. My friends went the other way while I conered her at slim path. “Hello Bose where are you coming from”, I managed to utter these words as my heart was already in my mouth. Before she could look back to response, I touched her bottom with the ring as instructed. The humiliation I got next was beyond description. She emptied the water completely on my head immediately accompanied with two fast slaps. My eyes where cleared. I was drenched. I wanted to abscond from the scene but Bose did the worst. She held me and screamed. Almost instantly the people gathered. She narrated how I touched her bottom. That was a great offense!
Well the rest is story. Moma’s 7 lashes were not as painful as the jest and laughter coming from my classmates. We went to the voodoo man the evening of the second day to complain how his “medicine” bleeped up. The baba threatened to turn us into chicken. He sent us away. I won anyway.
Although humiliated, but I was able to once again prove to people around me that voodoo does not work. But you need a skeptical and inquisitive mind to find out.
This is just one of the many encounters i have had about the falsehood and deceit in voodoo. And don’t ever import the “No true Scotsman Fallacy” into this by telling me that i have never met a real juju man. Don’t tell me real juju men don’t do fake voodoo. All voodoo are fake.
Ayodele – Facebook User